Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie (Where The “Pie” Tastes Like “Myspace”)

Alas, poor Myspace! I knew Myspace, Horatio, a website of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. Myspace hath bore me on its cyber-back a thousand times, and now how abhorr’d in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it.

In 2006 and 2007, Myspace was dominating Facebook, and, just four years later, Myspace is practically irrelevant. As Myspace is now up for sale and the bidding has already begun, Blabbb looks back, examines and applauds the social networking website that introduced many of us to our first taste of such delicious, techno drama as: personal Internet privacy issues, children’s safety on the Internet and cyber-stalking. Yes, Horatio, I knew Myspace.

Why does Blabbb “like” Myspace so much? Because original Myspacers forged online friendships and relationships with one another by way of proactive devotion and actions. Back in 2006, 2007 and 2008, Myspace did not have any News Feeds, Photo Tags, Suggested Friends or the like. When people communicated on Myspace, it was because Myspacers actually thought of their friends and proactively clicked on their profiles in order to see what was new in their online worlds. There was a certain “personal touch” with Myspace that Facebook seems to lack. In a way, the Myspace era was the early years of techno communicating before our communications were inundated with … blabbb.

So, in honor of our ole’ pal Myspace, we thought we’d jot down a tiny list of why Myspace was better than Facebook. This list encourages us to think about how our communications have changed in just two or three years time. Again, there is no absolute techno right or wrong. In fact, new technology is never wrong, per se. It’s how we use or misuse technology that can get us into trouble. (Didn’t we learn anything from Mathew Broderick in War Games?)


Blabbb “likes” Myspace because …

  • No Suggested Friends. Remember when you actually selected your “friends” in real life, instead of having a computer or an Internet-addicted spouse “suggest” them via an impersonal email or an automated list? Myspacers figured out on their own who they wanted to interact with online.
  • No News Feed. If you wanted to interact with people on Myspace, you clicked on their profiles. If you wanted to see if they added new photos, you clicked on their photos to check. Myspace didn’t turn our friends’ lives into the Bottomline sports news ticker on ESPN2.

  • No Check-In’s. If you were out and about, Myspace figured you could tell whoever you wanted of your whereabouts.
  • No Badges. Seriously, will someone please let Blabbb know what a “badge” is and what you’re supposed to do with it. Because we have an idea of what you can do with “badges” …
  • No Online Games. No Farms. No Mafia Wars. No Scrabble. Gamers already had Xbox, Playstations, Wii and so forth. Then they had to invade our social networking sites, too? Really?
  • HTML Images. Myspacers actually learned the tiniest bit of HTML in order to post images on each other’s Myspace pages. Meanwhile, it seems as if all we’ve learned on FB is that Zuckerberg looks like Eisenberg and the dude who started Napster really enjoyed crushing expensive sushi and overpriced appletinis as if he was Justin Timberlake … or maybe it’s the other way around.

In all seriousness, Myspace made us proactively work at our online relationships. Myspace expanded our online communications without force-feeding us “blabbb.” Blabbb wonders: Can healthy “friendships” and “relationships” be sustained by ease and convenience? Will Facebook’s News Feeds actually separate and distance us in a certain way? How are real, healthy friendships and relationships maintained in this techno world?

We recall Julianne Moore’s character in The Kids Are All Right passionately pleading with her loving partner (played by Annette Bening), surrounded by their two children. Relationships require hard work, Moore’s character stressed. (Note: Moore’s character turns the TV off to engage in this courageous conversation.)

Are Internet relationships any different? Blabbb asks: If we look for ease and convenience in our relationships, what kind of relationships are we left with? Lots of posts on our Facebook “walls?” Is that sufficient to maintain healthy relationships?

So, Dearest Myspace, Blabbb tips its techno cap in your direction and thanks you for our original online friendships and relationships, which were maintained by hard work and dedicated actions. There was something beautiful about the hard-working Myspace community, as opposed to the lethargic, easy-way-out Facebook community.

So, bye-bye, Miss American pie.
Drove my old Myspace to the interwebs,
But the interwebs were dry.
And them good old Internet addicts were drinkin’ FB — but why? —
Singin’, “This’ll be the day that Myspace dies.
“This’ll be the day that Myspace dies …”

What do “you” (not “u”) think, Blabbbers? Blabbb away …


2 Responses to Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie (Where The “Pie” Tastes Like “Myspace”)

  1. Lee Porter says:

    New comedy bit, “roasting” MySpace (NOT SAFE FOR WORK):

  2. Blabbbermouth says:

    myspace rides da pine! whens u gonz tlk biut Gigolos season finale!!! dats entainment!

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