An Open Letter to Blabbbers

September 21, 2011
As the complaints pour in about the latest changes to Facebook and many are making a change to Google+, we thought we’d write a little recommendation letter to all the Blabbbers out there …
 
 
TO: Those Blabbbers listed below  …
FROM: Blabbb
RE: An Open Letter to Blabbbers
DATE: September 21, 2011
CC: Blabbb’s Secretary; Blabbb’s Chef; Blabbb’s Limo Driver
 
 
Dear Blabbbers …
  • who change their profile photos everyday;
  • who write “I” and “me” too much;
  • who blabbb about politics;
  • who blabbb about religion;
  • who blabbb about what they’re eating;
  • who blabbb about what they just ate;
  • who blabbb about how what they ate affected them in the bathroom;
  • who “check in;”
  • who “check” others “in;”
  • who wish their bartender’s brother’s college roommate’s ex-girlfriend’s mother a “Happy 50th Birthday” as their FB status;
  • who blabbb that they are saddened by the death of their pizza delivery guy’s brother’s karate teacher’s stepfather;
  • who are friends with their dentists and gynecologists on FB;  😉
  • who curse on FB and Twitter;
  • who blabbb about the “cutest thing” their best friend’s baby just said to the sales clerk at the sporting goods store;
  • who blabbb (ie, boast) about home ownership;
  • who blabbb (ie, complain) about home ownership;
  • who blabbb about not being in debt;
  • who blabbb about being in debt;
  • who use the word “woot;”
  • who type “LOL” or “LMFAO;”
  • who blabbb (ie, boast) about their promotion;
  • who blabbb (ie, complain) about being laid off;
  • who blabbb (ie, complain) about their frustrating job search;
  • who blabbb (ie, boast) about finding their new job … and then blabbb (ie, complain) right away about their new job;
  • who wasted the time to write “25 Things About Myself” on FB;
  • who list their family members online;
  • who post requests on their “friends'” walls to send them a private message or call them;
  • who blabbb their emails addresses or cellphone numbers on their “friends'” walls [Random aside: We promote prank calling all such blabbbers late at night.];
  • who blabbb about their wife’s teacher’s postman’s nephew getting the cutest kittens;
  • who blabbb about their brother’s running coach’s car salesman’s dog dying;
  • who are FB friends with the crazy girl who sells pistachios at the ballpark;
  • who blabbb about losing their keys;
  • who blabbb about finding their keys;
  • who update their FB statuses with congratulations to their librarian’s mother’s real estate agent’s yoga instructor on her second marriage to her baby’s daddy;
  • who blabbb how sorry they are that their masseuse’s favorite food blogger’s meter maid is going through a divorce right now;
  • who blabbb about wanting to go on vacation;
  • who blabbb about going on vacation;
  • who blabbb about being jealous of someone else’s vacation;
  • who blabbb about wishing they were still on vacation;
  • who thank everyone on FB for the amazing birthday wishes and are “so blessed” to have “the best” friends and family;
  • who blabbb that they cannot sleep;
  • who blabbb that they took the best nap “EVER;”
  • who write “EVER;”
  • who blabbb that they slept in for the first time in “SO LONG;”
  • who write “SO LONG;”
  • who blabbb about how in love they are with their lover;
  • who blabbb about how annoyed they are by their lover;
  • who “wink” at their book club friend’s favorite bar’s trivia host online …

Dear any and all of those Blabbbers listed above: Take a deep breath, put your hands up, and slowly step away from your keyboards. The Reality Police are on their way. 😉
 
Sincerely “yours” (not “urs”),
 
~~ Blabbb

Advertisements

Blabbb: Origins

September 8, 2011

In addition to Wink and fb4h, want to know the motivation for this Blabbb blog?

Here are two pre-Blabbb pieces by Blabbber Lee Porter that sparked the idea for a blog which communicates on the Internet about communicating on the Internet:

Click here for an essay from the website WTF Is Up With My Love Life?!, entitled Techno-Romance: WTF? … FTW!

Click here for a blog piece about meeting people in person first before linking up on the Internet, entitled The (Real) Social Network.

So now you know what “sparked the Blabbb” (blog). What do “you” (not “u”) think, Blabbbers? 😉


%d bloggers like this: